With this pen I erase my face and fly back to a time in space where I sustained without pain, And everything was a different shade and - I don't know what happened to it - Movin fluid then suddenly lose it - Will I beat it? Will I go through with it? Heartbeat in my chest and I choose it

This letter's addressed to whom it concerns - Read the words very carefully, through you I'll be heard - In the afterlife - I didn't mean to leave in a fashion that left you feeling sick, mourning, hatin my passin - Askin why I did it - But it just isn't that simple - If you really knew why I did it - I'd be who it's written to - Eighteen years through these eyes I seen pain - The world lies beneath a picture I see in the frame - A story stuck in purgatory, but that's my day to death - My eyes were sunk in, my frame was a thin as a page - Runnin sick from nightmares then insomnia plagued - My life right where once the piece I had laid - And the fights right there but too much had been paid - I got nothing left, just the words on the page - So I'm sayin I'm leaving, I'm thinkin I can't agree with breaking permanent pieces of people I know believe in me

Suicide note, do or die note - Hopin on the time to arrive when I can just let it go - I just let it show - through the words that I say, I'm feelin the rage, the blood on the page, I write a suicide note

Cause I'm hoping for the moment when I'm lowered deep down in the dirt - Cause when no ones around there's no way to get hurt - When I'm making a sound still no way to be heard

So I figure with this itchy trigger finger I might let it get a little bit more intimate before I put to bed all these ridiculous thoughts in my head - Lightin candles as I try to handle seein myself in the mirror on the mantle, looking like I'm already dead - Feelin blind I can't hear to decipher all the shit that's makin me see red - I can't finish anything that I start - Gotta keep it together - Though I'm fallin apart - My god I'm weepin forever, through the hole in my heart - Caught 'em sleepin together, now I take it too far - Dig the knife in my arm, release the energy - Done - And I can travel on, but before I'm gone guess I gotta write a

Suicide note, do or die note - Hopin on the time to arrive when I can just let it go - I just let it show - through the words that I say, I'm feelin the rage, the blood on the page, I write a suicide note

The question is, I wonder was you feeling me? Did I become what you thought I'd be? And were the times of peace? Or just signs of me on a blinder side, aligned with grief? And did you pay attention to me? Messages sent, reflect from your direction back to me - Left blind, assuming, all my time was ruined, you were on my mind all the times that you lied and I knew it - But I aint mad at ya - I was keepin the strength - All the lies and deceit to fake fate that kept me straight - At a great rate - It kept me safe and now I'm fallin - You know how it goes when the reaper comes callin - Til dried eyes are cried out - I'm a leave you with this - My last secret of peace you might of missed - I was the beast in the mist - The man that never is even as half as evil as he really could've been

If you're reading this now then I guess you found out - That I can't take any more I live with too much doubt - But stop baby, please don't be sad - Think about the times we laughed after I made you mad - I know I miss your smile and the touch of your lips - I miss the way your hair smells and holding you in my grips - Tell my kids that I love 'em and I tried to be there - But their mom took them away from me without a care - Tell my parents that I'm sorry but they did their best - I'm not as smart as they thought I failed the ultimate test - Steve be somethin great and take pride in our name - Melissa take care of your kids I know they're not ashamed

Suicide note, do or die note - Hopin on the time to arrive when I can just let it go - I just let it show - through the words that I say, I'm feelin the rage, the blood on the page, I write a suicide note